Living in the Past
by Henrika
Summary: Kenshin struggles through his memories as his friends struggle to keep him alive. Final Chapter! Completed!
1. Default Chapter

Chapter 1 By Henrika  
  
Henrika-Yo! Here's my first Kenshin fic. It's been in my notebook for quite awhile and I finally got the motivation to post it. Hope you like it, make sure you review!

"Blood." Kenshin thought to himself as he swallowed the sip of sake he had taken. Sanosuke Sagara had practically dragged him from the Kamiya Dojo to go drinking with him. It was a few weeks after his final fight with Enishi and winter was closing in on the inhabitants of Tokyo.  
  
Kenshin stood up abruptly, startling the man across the low table from him. "Hey Kenshin, what's up?" Sano asked as Kenshin drew his money pouch out and extracted a few coins.  
  
"I'm afraid I have to leave, that I do." Kenshin said with a thin smile as he put the coins in front of Sano. "I'll pay for the drinks." Kenshin slid open the shoji and stepped out into the night.  
  
"Kenshin, wait. What's the matter?" Sano ended up yelling as Kenshin padded noiselessly away.  
  
"Nothing." He said icily, causing Sano to flinch. He then reverted to his normal voice as he turned around, "Nothing is wrong Sano." Kenshin faked a smile and slipped into the shadows.  
  
"Kenshin!" Sano yelled. 'He is way too good at disappearing into the shadows. I guess as a hitokiri you'd have to be.' He thought darkly. He returned to his unfinished sake, knowing that no matter how much he drank, he wouldn't be able to free himself from the nagging doubt that something was seriously wrong with his friend.

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Kenshin sighed as he leapt lightly to the roof of his rooms. He had arrived at the dojo to find Kaoru waiting up for him. He had silently offered thanks that she didn't press him about why he was back early, and without a drunken former fighter-for-hire. After bidding her good night and seeing her to her room, he had waited until she was asleep before he stepped away from her door.  
  
He settled down on the roof, sticking his arms behind his head for a pillow. He had always liked looking at the sky when he had problems. He started reviewing the facts in his head. "It's been over ten years since that night in the inn when the sake started tasting like blood." A storm cloud boomed viciously and the rain began to fall. Oblivious to the worsening weather, Kenshin fell deeper into his memories. 

"_I'd like a cup of chilled sake please."_ Was the first thing Kenshin ever heard Tomoe say, that night at the inn. He had defended her from two thugs that were hassling her. He remembered slipping into the night. The battle with a shadow assassin who had wanted nothing more than his death.. Tomoe covered in blood, saying "_I've often heard in plays about a rain of blood, but you really made it rain blood."_  
  
Kenshin's eyes sprung open. The memory had been so intense; he hadn't realized he was slowly being soaked. With relief, he finally snapped out of the memory by realizing that he was soaked with water, not blood. He shivered lightly. "I should get inside before I freeze, that I should." Kenshin said, reassuring himself that he was on a dojo roof in Tokyo, not on a building roof in Kyoto, holding a bloody katana.  
  
He changed to a yukata, laying out his gi and hakama to dry. He settled into a corner of the room, curling his arm around the reverse-blade sword. Like the past several nights, he knew that his nightmares wouldn't rest until they had driven him away from what little sleep he managed to obtain.

##############################

Kaoru Kamiya woke to the sunlight filtering through the walls. "Hey Yahiko," she said as she rigorously shook her student, "Wake up! C'mon already!"  
  
Yahiko groaned, muttering "Tsuba..." before he finally woke up and realized who was shaking him.  
  
"Hey Ugly, I was trying to sleep!" He screamed.  
  
"Dreaming about Tsubame?" Kaoru said with a wide grin.  
  
"How did you...?" Yahiko asked, dumbfounded.  
  
"You talk in your sleep." Kaoru grinned triumphantly. "C'mon, I think Kenshin already made breakfast. She made her way down the hall. Yahiko followed, trying to think of a way to get back at his instructor. "Oh look!" Kaoru stopped suddenly and Yahiko ran into her, knocking himself down. "It snowed!" She clapped her hands together.  
  
"Huh, whoa!" The entire area was covered in at thick, white layer of snow. Yahiko gazed at the snow in wonder until he realized that his sensei was moving down the hall. "Hey Ugly, wait up!" He received a bokken in the head as he walked into the kitchen.  
  
"Good morning Kenshin." Kaoru said as she walked towards the rice bin. Usually they would be running low by the end of the week and she would send Kenshin to get more. "It's half-full." Kaoru realized with surprise when she looked in the bin. 'Has Sano been mooching less?' She wondered as she sat down. 'No, he's been here every day this week. Then how...?' She was startled out of her thoughts when Kenshin set her breakfast down in front of her.  
  
"Did you sleep well Miss Kaoru?" Kenshin asked as he set breakfast in front of Yahiko and the place Sano usually occupied. "I have a feeling Sano will be here soon, that he will." He said as he sat down, answering the questioning (and slightly annoyed) look on Kaoru's face.  
  
Kaoru picked up her chopsticks and began eating, thankful that she hadn't cooked. Mentally, she returned to the rice problem. 'Yahiko and I aren't eating any less, so...' Her eyes fell on the red-haired man to her left. "Ken..." She started to say, but she was cut off when Sano made his loud entrance.  
  
"Good morning guys." He said as he plopped down in front of the bowl of rice that Kenshin had already set down.  
  
"Good morning Sano." Came the collective response.  
  
"I'm going to do the laundry, that I am." Kenshin said after a few moments. He stood and walked out.  
  
"Hey Missy, is something wrong?" Sano waved a hand in front of her face as she stared at where Kenshin had gone.  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Is something wrong?" Sano repeated.  
  
"I'm just worried about Kenshin, that's all. He hasn't seemed like himself lately."  
  
"Hmm. Maybe you should talk with him if you're worried about him."  
  
"I think I will." Kaoru said as she got up. Yahiko had finished his rice long ago and had begun to start in on Sano's.  
  
"Hey you little brat, give me back my rice!" 

Henrika-Not much to start with, but the chapters should get bigger. Tell me what you think and REVIEW!


	2. One battle begins

Living in the Past

Chapter 2

By Henrika  
  
_Henrika- Well, I actually managed to get another chapter up! Yea! Thanks to Sailor Kensjin, kenshinadmirer, and Kaiba-Angel for your reviews. And to answer Lady Ann Kenobi's question: A bit of a combination. Kenshin has always had these memories and feelings, but the battle with Enishi made them resurface. Hope that explains it. Enjoy the next chapter and don't forget to review!_

Kenshin was busily scrubbing a stubborn stain out of Kaoru's training gi. His hands were already red and raw from the cold after having to sweep aside enough snow to get to the laundry tub. He wasn't even aware of Kaoru, who was staring at him from the porch.  
  
"Kenshin?" Kaoru called softly, hoping he had already sensed her presence. There was no indication in his posture that he had heard her. "Kenshin." He failed to look up. Kaoru was agitated now. "Kenshin!" It was to no avail. "Kenshin you jerk! Pay attention when people are talking to you!" She yelled as she pegged him with a nearby bucket. Kaoru's eyes widened in fear when Kenshin didn't even say "Oro." Instead, he simply slumped over in the snow, the cloth slipping from his hands. She quickly ran to him as he raised himself up on his hands. When Kaoru reached his side she found him staring at red snow, a small trickle of blood from his mouth was staining the white landscape.  
  
To Kaoru's horror, another trickle joined the first. Part of Kenshin's scar had begun to bleed. "Tomoe..." He breathed, before collapsing into the crimson snow.  
  
"SANO! YAHIKO! HELP!" The pair fighting in the kitchen immediately came out at Kaoru's scream. Kaoru dragged Kenshin face-up so he could breathe.  
  
"Jeez. What happened to him?" Yahiko asked as they ran over.  
  
Sano stopped in front of Kenshin. "Yahiko, go get Megumi. Hurry!" Yahiko took off running; hoping he could get to Megumi fast enough, the image of red snow still in his mind.  
  
"C'mon Missy, let's get him inside." Sano stooped to scoop Kenshin up. _He's way too light._ Sano thought as he picked the former wanderer up. He began walking towards Kenshin's room, Kaoru following silently behind him. Kaoru opened the shoji and Sano used his foot to spread out Kenshin's unused futon, placing the unconscious man on it. "Hey Kaoru, don't worry. Kenshin will be fine." Sano was gibbering and he knew it.  
  
Kaoru had been crying silently since they took Kenshin to his room, but her tears lessened slightly at Sano's words. "I know." She whispered as she took Kenshin's freezing hand into hers.  
  
#####################  
  
Yahiko had made it to the Genzai clinic in record time, despite the thick snow. "Megumi!" He yelled as he burst through the gates.  
  
Megumi was finishing her breakfast leisurely, since Dr. Genzai had taken Ayame and Suzume into town. She immediately dropped her chopsticks and ran for the clinic door when she heard Yahiko's cry. "Yahiko, what's wrong?" She asked, her serious tone not managing to hide the fear in her voice. A million possibilities raced through her mind at what could have sent Yahiko for her help.  
  
"Kenshin...fainted...bleeding." Yahiko panted. One of her worst possibilities confirmed, Megumi became a whirlwind, writing a quick note to Dr. Genzai, grabbing her medicine chest, and locking the gate of the clinic.  
  
"Let's go." She began running and Yahiko soon followed.  
  
#####################  
  
"Hey Kaoru, can you get a few compresses?. I think he has a fever." Sano said. Kaoru looked like she was going to protest, but after a glance at Kenshin, she went.  
  
Sano used the time to get Kenshin out of his wet gi. He sucked in air through his teeth when he saw that the gash Kenshin received across the chest from his first fight with Enishi had re-opened and was bleeding profusely. Sano quickly undid the bandages on his left hand and hauled the limp man into a sitting position. He wrapped the bandages around Kenshin and slipped him into a clean yukata he found. _He looks almost as bad as he did in Kyoto. _Sano thought. "Kenshin, what the hell happened to you?" Sano muttered in frustration. Seconds later, Kaoru entered with a bowl of water and a handful of small towels.  
  
Sano's un-bandaged hand caught her attention as she knelt down. "What happened to your bandage Sanosuke?"  
  
Seeing that she had stopped crying, Sano was reluctant to tell the truth. After a moment, he pointed to the white chest bandage that was already turning red. "He's been pushing himself too hard." Sano explained. "He never let himself heal fully because he knew we were worried about him being hurt so badly. So he tried to ease our worrying by going back to his daily routine before he was healed!" Sano was angry by the end as he realized how much Kenshin was willing to sacrifice to spare his friends from any pain.  
  
"Oh Kenshin." Kaoru didn't start crying again, but she did put her hand on Kenshin's forehead. "He's burning up." Kaoru said as she put a cool cloth on his forehead.  
  
"Sir Ken!"  
  
"Kenshin!"  
  
Sano and Kaoru looked up at the pair frozen in the doorway. "How long has he been like this?" Megumi asked as she knelt down next to Kaoru.  
  
"About fifteen minutes." Kaoru responded as Megumi began taking things out of her medicine chest.  
  
"Beside the fact that he's been unconscious this entire time, is there anything else wrong?"  
  
"He has a high fever." Kaoru supplied.  
  
"And his chest wound re-opened." Sano added.  
  
"Yahiko, could you warm up some water? I need it for this medicine." Megumi asked as she began mixing ingredients.  
  
"Yeah, sure." Yahiko left.  
  
"Sano, could you get more blankets?"  
  
"Right." Sano began searching for extra blankets in the dojo.  
  
"Kaoru, I need you to keep the compresses going." She nodded as the man in front of them grew paler and paler.

Henrika-I'm just evil aren't I? Hehee. Tell me what ya think!


	3. Explanations

Living in the Past

Chapter 3  
By Henrika  
  
_ Henrika-Long chapter. Woohoo. That's the good news. Bad news is that I've been writing this story in pencil in my notebook and now I can't read four whole pages I wrote because the lead smeared around. Not to worry, I'll figure out what they say eventually. Thanks to Subaru the Jaguar, Kenjutsu Priestess, GoldAngel2, FantoKitsune. Read and Review!_  
  
Kenshin opened his eyes, and then blinked them repeatedly to make sure his eyes weren't playing horrible tricks on him. The red moon cast a dismal light on the gruesome scene. He was on a battlefield that was strewn with dead bodies. He realized that his hair was in a high ponytail and he was wearing his Ishin Shishi uniform. Even worse was the realization that he was covered in blood and holding a bloody katana. Kenshin immediately threw the sword away from him. In some vague part of his mind, he knew that this was a nightmare, but it was one that was all too real.  
  
"Battousai!" Dead bodies began to rise, blood still gushing from the sword wounds that had killed them. "Murderer! Battousai!"  
  
"That's not my name anymore." Kenshin said in a pleading tone. The mangled corpses began to advance on him.  
  
"Revenge!" One of the bloodiest bodies yelled. A ring of rotting flesh began to form. Kenshin bolted, escaping the corpses bent on his destruction. He found himself on the outskirts of Kyoto. Rivers of blood, that he had created, flowed in the streets. Kenshin ran blindly as the smell of blood overwhelmed his senses. He stumbled over something in the darkness. A copper taste filled his mouth as he fell in the river. He turned to spit out the blood and caught sight of what he had tripped on.  
  
"No." He begged for the nightmare to end as the two halves of the samurai in black faced him in the river. Rain began to fall and Kenshin saw the crimson drops join the ones in the river. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a person approach.  
  
A blood-soaked Tomoe came into his view. "I've often heard in plays about a rain of blood, but you really made it rain blood."  
  
"KILL HIM!" The cry came from the dead who had tracked Kenshin down.  
  
"No. Please make it stop. Please make it stop." Kenshin moaned, burying his face in his stained hands as the slain began to converge on him.  
  
Megumi undid the bandage on Kenshin's wound. "Has Sir Ken been eating well lately?" Megumi asked as she surveyed the damage.  
  
"Now that you mention it, no." Kaoru said as she saw how thin Kenshin was. "I don't think he's been sleeping well either, if he sleeps at all." She added.  
  
Megumi sighed "He let this get infected.". She withdrew her attention from the wounds as Yahiko returned with the water. She mixed it with the herbs she had ground up and applied the poultice to the gash. She put on a new bandage and did the same to Kenshin's scar.  
  
Sano returned and laid a few blankets over him. "Hey Fox, the scar is still bleeding." Sano pointed out as he sat down. Megumi moved to get another bandage when she saw the first one was already soaked, but she stopped when Kenshin began shaking uncontrollably.  
  
"Kenshin!" Kaoru yelled, as the convulsions got worse. Sano leaped up and quickly pinned him to the floor so he couldn't hurt himself. Almost as quickly as they began, the spasms started to subside. Kaoru leaned in as she saw his lips moving.  
  
"No...please............stop...make it stop." Then he was still.  
  
"He's having a nightmare." Kaoru realized aloud.  
  
"Is there anything we can do for him?" Yahiko asked tentatively.  
  
After a quick examination to make sure he hadn't re-injured himself, Megumi applied a new bandage to the scar. "I'm afraid there's nothing we can do. It's up to Sir Ken to wake up."  
  
"He couldn't even snap out of his trance in Rakuninmura, how is he supposed..." Sano trailed off as he realized Kaoru was gaping at him.  
  
"Rak...Rakuninmura?" Sano mentally Futae-no-Kiwamied himself. They had never told Kaoru what had happened after she was kidnapped by Enishi. "Sano." He knew that tone. It was either tell the truth or a well-aimed bokken hit to the head.  
  
"Do we have a choice?" Sano asked Yahiko and Megumi.  
  
"I see no other option now." Megumi said.  
  
"We'd better tell her." Yahiko put in.  
  
"Alright Missy. You're not going to like what you're gonna hear. Are you sure about this?" Kaoru hesitated for a second, and then nodded her head.  
  
"Alright then, I'm sure you remember Gein?" Kaoru nodded. "He made a doll of you. Once Enishi had kidnapped you, he nailed it to the dojo wall with Enishi's sword after carving a cross-shaped scar into the cheek." Megumi had gone pale, as Sano had brought up the memory. "We heard Enishi yelling at Kenshin to mourn and we ran for the dojo. We thought that doll was you." Sano shuddered slightly as he remembered and Megumi looked positively sick. "Kenshin cried and said something about again not being able to the one he loved."  
  
"We had your funeral a few days later." Megumi said. "There was no sign of Sir Ken."  
  
"Some of my friends came by later, saying that they had found Kenshin in Rakuninmura. They warned the women not to come, but we all went anyways." Sano said. "Kenshin looked pretty bad. The reverse-blade sword was wrapped in chains and the only thing he would say to us was: No more, I'm tired." Kaoru was speechless. "I tried to knock some sense into him."  
  
"Literally." Yahiko muttered.  
  
Sano just bowed his head. "I came back one more time after that, but it was hopeless. I left and went to Shinshu. After getting in a couple of fights, I realized that I shouldn't have abandoned everyone, so I came back." Sano finished.  
  
"What happened after Sano left?" Kaoru managed to ask Yahiko and Megumi.  
  
"I think that's where I come in." Yahiko said. He waited for Kaoru to switch the compress on Kenshin's forehead before he started. "Misao and Aoshi showed up with Tomoe's diary. They couldn't believe you were gone. Misao and I went back to Rakuminmura after we showed them your grave. I promised Kenshin that I would wield the sword like him using the Kamiya Kasshin style to protect others." He paused, thinking back to what happened next. "Awhile after that, Aoshi told us about his suspicions that Gein had made a puppet of you and wanted to unearth your grave."  
  
"I could have sworn that doll was really you when I examined it. What would have happened if they had listened to me?" Megumi wondered out loud, hundreds of different scenarios racing through her mind, none of them pleasant.  
  
"We dug up your grave." Yahiko continued. "Aoshi cut the doll open and pulled out a bunch of cables. We were so happy that you were alive somewhere."  
  
"The problem was that we had no idea where somewhere was." Megumi added.  
  
"So we visited Saitou." Yahiko grimaced. "He was a jerk about it, but he did tell us that Enishi was on an island and that the police were launching a raid in less than a week. The next day, I was visiting Tsubame when we heard Kujiranami had broken out of prison. You remember the guy with the cannon arm?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"It seems a bit dumb now, but I went after him.  
  
"Yahiko!"  
  
"I know. Anyway I found him and a few police officers. The police told me that his new gun arm was something called a grenade launcher. It was powerful, but it didn't work as well at close range. I imitated Kenshin's Ryu Sho Sen, but it didn't faze him. Tsubame told me that after I left she went to ask Kenshin for help."  
  
"And?" Kaoru had a feeling she knew what happened next and she just couldn't wait to find out for sure.  
  
"Easy Missy, let him finish."  
  
"There was this kid looking for his dad. Kujiranami aimed the gun at him, so I jumped on top of him so he wouldn't get the full force of the blast. I tried to go for a pressure point that would at least subdue him for a while. I used the succession technique and jammed my shinai into his chest." Yahiko winced. "He just slammed me into the ground."  
  
"Misao and I heard about a kid fighting with a shinai. We got there as fast as we could. Yahiko was badly wounded and Kujiranami had him by the head, but he still managed to lift his shinai into a fighting stance." Megumi said. Kaoru just beamed at her pupil. "Saitou, Aoshi, Misao, and I all showed up at the same time."  
  
"I thought I was dreaming when I heard someone yell Kuzu Ryu Sen." Yahiko said. "Kujiranami got up though so Kenshin did a Ryu Sho Sen on him."  
  
"He asked Sir Ken to kill him." Megumi said. Kaoru inhaled sharply. "Yahiko stepped in though, despite his condition, telling Kujiranami that samurai shouldn't hate each other. He then wanted to fight him again." Megumi giggled.  
  
"What's so funny?" Yahiko demanded.  
  
"You could barely stand Yahiko. How did you expect to fight him?"  
  
"I...um..." Sano and Kaoru joined in the laughing and even Yahiko laughed as he realized what it must have looked like. "They arrested Kujiranami again." Yahiko finished.  
  
"The two of them were in pretty bad shape. Kenshin had gone without food, water, or treatment of his injuries since his first fight with Enishi. He slept for three days straight after I treated him. That's when rooster here showed up with a broken hand."  
  
"After patching up the idiot..." Megumi giggled and fox ears appeared on her head.  
  
"Hey!"  
  
"Yahiko woke up and they decided to wake up Sir Ken."  
  
"But he was already up." Yahiko said.  
  
"He apologized for worrying us." Megumi added.  
  
"And asked us to take him to you." Sano said.  
  
Kaoru smiled widely, but it lessened slightly as Kenshin shuddered under her hand. "So you got on the police boat?" She prompted.  
  
"Yeah we all did." Kenshin told us that he didn't have any strength to spare if he was going to fight Enishi, so he asked for our help. That was about when the second boat hit a mine. We jumped on a smaller boat while they evacuated the sinking ship. Misao used her kunais to make the mines explode before we hit them." Sano said.  
  
"We landed and Kenshin yelled for Enishi." Yahiko said.  
  
"I know. I heard him." Kaoru surprised them.  
  
"Anyways, Heishin and his bodyguards showed up. Yahiko, Aoshi, Saitou, and I each fought one of the Sushin. After we defeated them, Enishi showed up and so did you." Sano wrapped up.  
  
"I had no idea." Kaoru said. "I had no idea you had to go through all that."  
  
"It all turned out well in the end Kaoru." Megumi uncharacteristically put a comforting arm over her shoulder. She then moved over to replace the blood-soaked bandage on Kenshin's cheek. "It won't stop bleeding!" She growled as she put on a new bandage.  
  
_Henrika-Bwahaha. Evil, ain't I? Read and review so I can post more chapters of Kenshin's nightmares!_


	4. Nightmares

Living in the Past

Chapter 4

Henrika- This is really short, mainly because I have more limits on my time and because I still have to figure out those smeared pages. I hope you enjoy what I have and sorry for taking so long to get this short chapter up. Review!

Kenshin opened his eyes again. Darkness had swept his mind away from the bloodbath of Kyoto. He now found himself on a snowy battlefield. He felt the sword in his hands meet the familiar resistance of flesh. Too much flesh for one. "That scent...white...plum." Kenshin tried to pull back the last, desperate swing of his sword in vain. Tomoe fell into his arms as he wrenched the katana away from her side. He lowered them both to the ground, the sword falling from his hands. The dagger in her hand came up and he felt a small pain as her knife bit into his flesh, taking revenge for her fiancée and assuring that the scar Kiyosato had left would never bleed again. Kenshin cried as his wife slipped away from him.

"It's alright...so please don't cry." Tomoe smiled as she brushed a few tears away before she fell limp in his grasp.

"Tomoe...TOMOE!"

"I think his fever is getting worse Megumi." Kaoru said as she laid a hand on Kenshin's forehead.

"If he were awake, I have some herbal tea that might help break the fever, but..."

"Would the scent do anything?"

"It's possible."

Kenshin stirred lightly under Kaoru's hand. "Tomoe...TOMOE." He rasped, a few dry sobs sweeping over him before he went limp again. The group had frozen when he had opened his mouth to speak.

"He must be re-living ...Tomoe's death." Kaoru choked out. Silence settled.

"I'll...make...the tea." Megumi retreated with the small bag of tealeaves. The silence descended again, leaving them each with their own thoughts.

'Please come back to us Kenshin." Kaoru begged silently.

Kenshin found himself drifting in the darkness. 'No, not darkness.' He thought to himself as he realized that he was on solid ground. 'This is fog.' Kneeling down, he fanned away the swirling mist and saw that there was solid wood and tatami mats hidden beneath the dense fog.

A sudden gust of wind began to clear the fog away. Kenshin easily recognized the plaque on the wall that proclaimed the Kamiya Kasshin Style. Directing his eyes downward again, he followed the trailing wisps of fog with them. He saw how the white strands whirled around the floor and the pool of blood that had formed. He looked with horror into the listless, unseeing eyes that blandly met his horrified gaze. His heart was struck with pain as he replayed every single chance he had to leave her to a safe life, free from his enemies. Again, he had failed a woman he loved.

Kaoru Kamiya's body was pinned to the dojo wall by the sword of Enishi's Earthly Justice. As they had before, the tears began to flow, only this time there was no one to brush them away. "Miss...Kaoru..........Kaoru." The sheer anguish expressed in those three words served to capture every emotion that came from failing to protect the ones he loved from his past. Finally overwhelmed by the unrelenting torrent of emotions, Kenshin slipped into the sweet bliss of unconsciousness.

Kaoru was the first one to notice the teardrop making its journey down Kenshin's cheek. Several more followed the first. "Miss...Kaoru..........Kaoru." The pain and sorrow reflected in his voice nearly made Kaoru burst into tears. She grabbed his hand and squeezed it.

"I'm here Kenshin. I'm right here." She soothed.

A strong herbal scent made Megumi's presence known before she even reached the room. She wordlessly placed several small bowls around Kenshin's head and ppured the tea. The scent stole over the room, leaving them all filling invigorated. "It'll take some time to work." Megumi warned.

"I hope this works." Sano said.

"We all do." Yahiko pointed out.

Kesnhin stirred slightly, but remained unconcious.

_C'mon Kenshin. Missy's counting on you to come back. All of us are counting on you. _Sano thought.

Henrika- Sappy, I'll admit it. Review and give an opinion on it if you want.


	5. Forgiveness and Second chances

Living in the Past

By Henrika

Chapter 5

Henrika- _Holds up hands_ Don't kill me! _Sweatdrops at angry mob _Don't hurt me too bad! I finally managed to translate the majority of my pencil smudges into the end of the story! So I decided to give it all out. Thanks to all my loyal reviewers and anyone who enjoyed this story. Enjoy!

The bitter cold was the first thing Kenshin felt. He vaguely registered the fact that he was sitting against a tree trunk in a snowy forest. His limbs were numb and he had the notion that he had been in this place for some time now. "Anata?" A vision in a pristine white kimono came through the trees and stood in front of him.

He turned away from her, looking at a small tree that had struggled through the snow as he spoke. " I'm sorry I stole your happiness. I'm sorry I couldn't protect you. I'm…" He stopped as Tomoe knelt by his side and gently turned his face toward her.

"I forgave you that day. I forgive you again. Kiyosato, my fiance, has forgiven you. Enishi has taken his vengence on you. Your friends don't care who you were. Yet you continue to linger here, dwelling on a past that can't be changed. Why?"

"Every nameless person I slaughtered, how could I possibly be forgiven by them?" The bloody nights of Kyoto dominating his thoughts as he spoke.

Tomoe smiled. "You have to forgive yourself anata."

"I'm not worthy to be forgiven for the blood I spilled." He said slowly, feeling the pull of an eternal sleep.

"Your friends seem to think so. The one who wishes for your smiles thinks you are worthy enough to have another chance."

Kenshin's breathing slowed as he succumbed to the cold. "Another…chance." He managed to say.

"Breathe. Breathe in and…breathe out." Tomoe guided him. Kenshin drew in a shuddering breath and ended up coughing violently into his hand. Specks of blood shimmered in his hand. "I want you to recover completely this time. Remember, the weight of the world is not on your shoulders. You have others to help your bear this lode." Kenshin still felt the bitter cold as Tomoe kissed him lightly, but there was a warmth in his heart that hadn't been there before. "Live happy anata. We'll meet again and I'll always smile over you." The forest disappeared, as did Tomoe, leaving only a shining prick of light in the darkness. He began to drag himself towards it, the smell of strong herbs drawing him further and giving him new strength.

Kenshin began to shiver uncontrollably as the time passed since Megumi had set the herbs to work. "Are there any more blankets?" She asked. Sano shook his head. Kenshin's head fell to the side and a violent cough racked his thin frame.

"Megumi." A wide-eyed Yahiko said. The others turned and saw the spray of blood on Kenshin's pillow.

"I was afraid of this." She said.

"Afraid of what?' Kaoru asked fearfully.

"He developing pnemonia."

"Damn." Sano cursed as Megumi's diagnosis hit.

"He has a chance to pull through, but…" Megumi trailed off.

"He'll make it." Kaoru said forcefully. "He has to."

"What I don't get is how he got it in the first place." Yahiko said.

"A good question, but it could have been a number of things. It was probably the cold." Megumi added.

"Kaoru." Everyone looked over as Kenshin struggled to open his eyes. Dull, glassy violet eyes glanced around the room, taking in the occupants as they tried to focus.

There was a gasping breath before Kaoru could manage "Kenshin!" . It took all of her willpower not to hug him.

"Good to have you back Kenshin." Sano said.

"How do you feel Sir Ken?" Megumi asked.

"The truth." Kaoru added.

"Sick." Kenshin admitted when he saw that he couldn't weasel his way out of answering.

"That's to be expected. You've been through quite an ordeal." Megumi laid a hand on his forehead. "Although it does appear that your fever is breaking. Why don't I get you something to eat." She stood up, grabbing Sano and Yahiko and dragging them out with her.

"Ow Fox, what the hell was that all about?" Sano when she unceremoniusly dropped them in the kitchen.

"Think about it idiot. Kaoru is the only one who is going to be able to get Sir Ken to confess what he was really dreamin about."

"Oooo. I get it. Kenshin won't say anything when we're there because it would make us worry. Ugly's still gonna have a hard time getting anything out of him though." Yahiko said with a great amount of insight for his age.

"Right. We're just going to have to hope. Now help me find my way around this kitchen." Megumi said.

"I…apologize…Miss Kaoru."

"Whatever for?"

"I…didn't finish… the laundry…that I…didn't"

Kaoru's eyes shimmered with tears. "Kenshin, you idiot. I don't care about the laundry, I care about you! Eep." She turned a flaming red as she realized what she had said. _Very eloquent confession Kaoru._ She mentally berated herself _Now what do I do?_

"I'm sorry to have…worried you… Kaoru." The lack of the honorific snapped Kaoru's attention back to the present. She stared at Kenshin, whose eyes were shut, but there was a gentle smile on his lips.

"As long as you're safe, I forgive you." Kenshin sighed, a mix between happiness and pain.

"I…I didn't talk in...my sleep, did I?" Kenshin asked apprehensively.

It was Kaoru's turn to sigh. "You did. Do you want to talk about it?"

"What…did I say?"

"At first you were asking someone to make it stop."

"I was back in Kyoto, in the old days." Kaoru was surprised that Kenshin was actually being forthcoming about this, when he had hid so much else from them, but she decided not to interrupt. "It was rainning blood…and all the people I killed during the revolution…wanted their revenge." Kaoru held onto Kenshin's hand for support, whether for himn or for her, she didn't know. "They found me and everything went black. What else did I say?"

"You were yelling for Tomoe, then for me."

"I killed her, then it was my fault you died." His tears began again as the familiar guilt twisted his face. "I should have protected you. It was all my fault. You've been kidnapped and nearly killed because I didn't want to remember the truth of what I am!" He struggled to sit, barely managing it before Kaoru could help him.

"Oh Kenshin." Kaoru embraced him, being mindful of his wounds. She felt him stiffen underneath her.

"Miss Kaoru, I'm not worthy of…" Kenshin started, but he was violently cut off.

"You're not worthy of what Kenshin? Friends? Happiness? Compassion? Love?" Kaoru wasn't finished though. A dam had broken inside her and years of frustration were pouring out. "If you think that's true than I hate to say that you have friends that love you. We're not afraid of who you used to be!"

Kenshin snapped back. "I need you to be!" Golden eyes blazed, but Kaoru refused to flinch.

"Why?"

Kenshin lost his composure at that. "Can't…can't. Guilty…stained…easier to say goodbye to a monster." He hid behind his bangs. Kaoru resisted the urge to sob.

"We love you Kenshin. We love you for who you are right now, and we forgive the sins of your past Kenshin. Please move forward, move on." She hugged him again.

"Miss Kaoru…I." Kenshin couldn't finish the thought, hearing Tomoe's words echo across his thoughts. _Forgive yourself. There are those who think you deserve a second chance. _Kenshin was overwhelmed and did the only thing he could think of in his half-delirious state, which was returning Kaour's hug as best as he could, clinging desparately to her.

"Kenshin." Kaoru asked softly after a minute.

"Miss Kaoru, do you really think this unworthy person could ever deserve another chance?"

The question threw Kaoru off slightly, but she answered instantly. "Of course you are!"

"Thank you for everything Kaoru." His grip slackened on her back and Kaoru pulled back a bit to see that he had fallen asleep with a contented look on his face. Kaoru settled back down and stayed in Kenshin's arms.

_I could get used to this._ She thought dreamily. "Sweet dreams Kenshin." Kaoru whispered as she herself drifted off.

Thwack! "Owwww!" sano cursed for a moment, dropping his spoon and hastily withdrawing his stinging hand out of the range of the miso stew. A smirking Megumi brandished the hot stirring spoon at him.

"I told you, this is for Sir Ken. Besides, you wouldn't want it anyway." She said as she began stirring again. Sano stopped blowing on his hand for a minute.

"Why not?" Megumi laughed as she produced a small bottle.

"Isn't that…?" Yahiko asked as he and Sano got a closer look at it.

"Yes, it's the same paralyzing potion I was planning to use on him to keep him from Kyoto." She dumped a portion of the contents into the soup as Yahiko and Sano sweatdropped, remembering the other thing Megumi had brought along.

"You don't still have…the collar, do you?" Sano asked. Fox ears and a slightly lecherous grin served as his answer. "Forget I asked."

Megumi ladled some soup into a bowl. "If we don't drug him, he'll try to get up before he's healed." Megumi said matter-of-factly. "You know it, I know it, and Sir Ken knows it."

Sano sighed. "You're right, but it would be best to have Kaoru with him when he goes down and wakes up. That way he won't suspect that he's sleeping so much."

"A good idea and you admitted that I was right. Are you feeling okay Roosterhead?" Megumi laid a hand on his forehead as Yahiko rolled his eyes.

"Geez, would you two stop flirting already?" Sano and Megumi only paused for a second before they knocked Yahiko out through the open kitchen door.

"After you Megumi." Sano exaggerated a bow and swept a hand towards the door.

Megumi, who miraculously hadn't spilled the soup, made her way out while blowing on her fist. "Why thank you Sanosuke." They walked side-by-side down the porch, ignoring the unconcious kid in the yard.

Megumi put a finger up to her mouth before she opened the door. They found Kaoru curled in Kenshin's arms, with his chin resting on her head. Backing out of the room, Megumi couldn't keep the smug grin off her face. "I told you she'd get through to him."

"Your wounds have healed up nicely." Megumi told a groggy Kenshin. True to her word, she had drugged him for the better part of his recovery.

"So you'll finally let me out of bed?" He had been stuck in his room for nearly two weeks and he was beginning to get cabin fever.

"Yes." She smiled. Kaoru walked in. "Perhaps Kaoru could take you for walk." Megumi suggested. They both nodded and with a bit of assistance the pair were on their way.

"Miss Kaoru?" Kenshin asked after they had made it to the riverbank.

"Yes?"

"I think that I'd like to spend the rest of my second chance with you."

She smiled. "I'd like that too."

Henrika- Bit of a sappy ending, but it just seemed to write itself in. Please review and tell me what you thought about the end of the whole story. Ja ne!


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